I want to be on birth control but don't want my parents to know. What can I do?

While an open and honest relationship with your parents is always best, I also understand that there are times when you might not want to share everything with them.

Before I talk about this topic I like to remind people that, when it comes to sex, birth control only helps prevent pregnancy. It does NOT prevent sexually-transmitted infections (STDs or STIs) such as gonorrhea, chlamydia and herpes. The only way to do this is with a condom or dental dam (yes, you can get STDs in your mouth). I will talk more specifically about these another day.

All teenagers are allowed access to contraceptives (birth control) without parental consent -- meaning your parents do NOT need to say it's okay for you to start birth control. However, the issue for you may be WHERE you can get birth control. You have a couple of different options.

The laws that allow teenagers to see a doctor without a parent vary from state-to-state. Check out the Guttmacher website to see how old you have to be in order to visit your doctor without your parents coming with you.

One thing to consider with a doctor's visit is confidentiality (or keeping what you discuss between you and your doctor). If you are able to go to your doctor, remind them that you would like your visit to remain private. There are often things that a doctor can do to make certain parts of your medical record only available to you. The other issue to consider will be insurance. Your parents will have to know that you went for a doctor's visit if your insurance is billed, but they won't know what you discussed. This is something to keep in mind as you decide how open you would like to be with your parents.

In many parts of the country, Planned Parenthood clinics can help you with birth control without the need for insurance. They typically charge you a small amount of money based on what you can afford (called "sliding scale").

The next question is WHAT type of birth control you would like. There are some types that require you to be on a daily schedule and others that you don't need to worry about for 3 years. Something else to consider for each type is cost. Your insurance might cover most types of birth control but, again, the issue will be with how your parents are billed. Talk with your doctor's office to find out if they can help you with these details. (Or consider Planned Parenthood where you insurance will not be used.) Planned Parenthood has an amazing website that goes into detail about your many birth control options (and how effective they are at preventing pregnancy).

One last thought for you would be to discuss starting birth control with your parents for its other benefits. Birth control can improve acne, relieve severe menstrual (period) cramps, slow the amount of blood you lose while on your period and help with some mood swings around that time of the month. If you think they might support you starting on birth control for any of those reasons it might be worth discussing with them.