Guide to a doctor’s visit
Anticipating a trip to the doctor can cause some serious anxiety, especially if you don’t know what to expect! Here’s an outline of how a typical doctor’s visit should go and why we do what we do.
Let’s start with making the appointment. Your parents can absolutely be responsible for this. However, if you want to work up the nerve to make the call, go for it! Once you do you’ll find it’s pretty easy and nothing to be nervous about.
If you call on your own you’ll have to provide your name and type of insurance (if they don't already have that on file). You will also have to know what type of appointment you want (examples are a general checkup, a sports physical, an asthma follow-up, acne evaluation, mental health appointment or a reproductive health exam) and your schedule preferences.
Depending on the type of appointment you are making and what state you live in, it might be necessary to have an adult accompany you. Want to know if the type of appointment you are making needs a parent present? Check out the Guttmacher Institute’s website.
Let’s say this is a general checkup, one where your parent(s) or guardian(s) does need to come with you. Once you’re in the room it’s likely that the doctor’s assistant and the doctor will want to talk with both of you—at least at first. Some stuff your parent might have to talk about (like family history of certain diseases) but other things you should be able to answer (like if you’ve had headaches or shortness of breath or if you have any other concerns about today’s visit). None of it is meant to scare you—only to help make sure you are healthy and that all of your issues are addressed.
For a teenager, it’s usually more comfortable if there aren’t siblings or others in the room for the questions and exam. You can always ask for others to leave if the assistant or doctor don’t. Your visit, your call.
If you have a very open relationship with your parents you probably won’t have a hard time discussing puberty stuff with the doctor while they’re in the room. However, even some of the best relationships have their boundaries. If you want to discuss some things with the doctor without your parents, it’s helpful if you can bring this up before the appointment. Here are a couple of things you can say (no matter what your reason for wanting private time):
“Is it okay if I talk to the doctor alone about some changes that are happening with my body?“
“I’d like to practice speaking up for myself. Is it okay if you step out during some of the visit so that I can try?“
Alternatively, many doctors (when taking care of adolescents) will propose this anyway. Again, your visit, your call.
Now to the really unpopular part of a doctor’s visit: the exam. For starters, it’s important you know that under most situations you have a right to request any doctor you want. Male, female, old, young, easy to talk to, direct and to-the-point. If you are uncomfortable with any part of the exam due to your doctor’s gender or otherwise, you are entitled to decline that part of the exam. Period.
Here are the things that are most important for an adolescent visit: listening to your heart and lungs, checking your joints and your strength, assessing your overall neurologic functioning and, yes, making sure you are on track with puberty. This means a genital exam and (for females) a breast exam. Again, you can decline this but it is a very important of making sure you are growing appropriately and that your hormones are on track.
There are a variety of ways that the genital exam can be done, but the number one priority should be your comfort. If you are comfortable in no other clothing except a gown and blanket, great! It makes our job easy. However, if you want to keep your underwear on (or even all of your clothes) we can still do our job with some strategic movement of clothing one garment at a time.
And where are your parents throughout the exam? Wherever you want them to be—in the room or outside of the room. But here again is an important time for you to watch out for your own comfort. If your doctor is a different gender than you they should offer for a chaperone to be in the room if your parent is not. A chaperone is someone like a nurse or a medical assistant is an extra set of eyes just to make sure your comfort level is respected. If your doctor is the same gender as you they can still offer a chaperone (or you can request one) if your parent is not in the room.
It’s totally natural for you to feel some discomfort or awkwardness going to the doctor. These are very private matters! However, try to remember that we are only there to make sure you are healthy and growing well, not to embarrass you. We’re on your side.