My friend’s dad is verbally abusive. What can I do to help?
It has been reported as recently as 2015 that 700,000 children are abused in the US every year. What counts as abuse is complex, but this number is likely an underestimate. Things like verbal abuse and neglect are forms of abuse but are less likely to be identified.
Now, let’s talk about what you can do. First, don’t feel that you have to fix this or help your friend by yourself. If you want help, tell an adult. You could also encourage your friend to tell an adult. Suggest a trusted uncle, a teacher or a doctor. It doesn’t have to be a parent.
There are also crisis phone lines, texting services and online options that both you and she can consider:
Boys Town National (800)448-3000
Childhelp (800)422-4453
National Runaway Safeline (800)786-2929
Trevor Project (866)488-7386 (if the abuse is related to LGBTQ identity)
Details are listed in the resources tab. These places should help her, in turn, figure out how to make this abuse stop. Solutions range from family discussion and counseling to separation from or legal action against the abuser. Remember, life-threatening emergencies NEED a call to 911.
Abuse of any kind causes lasting harm. It causes feelings of worthlessness, difficulty concentrating or succeeding in school and thoughts of self-harm (to name just a few). Abuse is toxic. Your friend might be scared to tell, and that’s okay. Just remind her that she deserves nothing but love and support in this world. She might even be speaking for someone who can’t (like a younger sibling). She deserves to be heard.
