I would guess that almost everyone gets nervous for the first time. If you have a vagina, the idea of vaginal penetration can also be terrifying. My advice is a combination of medical and personal advice.

First, make sure you’re with a partner that you feel comfortable sharing this moment with. It can be painful, bloody or fabulous, but knowing that you can be vulnerable with this person is very important to set the stage for the moment.

Second, no matter what your first experience is like, things will likely get better. So if it is bloody or painful, or if you can’t keep an erection, or if you can’t orgasm…cut yourself some slack. This is the first time and it’s never perfect. If things don’t go as planned, try again another time.

And third, be prepared with lube (if you’re using condoms, which you should, don’t use oil-based lube). This will make any situation a little more comfortable.